Talk:Raian Getsueikirite/Archive 1
:D Epicness. You took my jumble of thoughts into a real working Zanpakutō whose epicness is unrivaled! :D Excellent work, bro. --Seireitou-shishō (瀞霊冬川平) 04:25, July 30, 2010 (UTC) : Thank you. I hope to improve upon it, but I think I'm gonna add to the suspense by revealing it's Bankai upon it's first use. ~ The Silver Flash of Konoha (My User Page|Main Character) 04:38, July 30, 2010 (UTC) o.o Amazing. I'd love to see the Bankai that one-ups this Shikai lol. To be completely honest with you, I thought that Meigetsu Zanpakuto wasn't... eh... one of your best works. --Seireitou-shishō (瀞霊冬川平) 04:45, July 30, 2010 (UTC) :: I don't blame you. I thought the same thing, but I was quite literally out of any usable ideas. Seeing the sneakiness and cunning of Gin's own zanpakutō sparked my interest to find a Zanpakutō that couldn't be easily countered and all I could think up were abilities that were too similar to his own, but your idea further sparked me to create what is currently here. ~ The Silver Flash of Konoha (My User Page|Main Character) 04:47, July 30, 2010 (UTC) Well, at any rate, I appluad this Zanpakutō. Inyō screams "Look, maybe if you focus, you could figure out how to wi- *cuts you once* Oooh, soorry, you dai now." >:D --Seireitou-shishō (瀞霊冬川平) 04:53, July 30, 2010 (UTC) : Yup. That's the image I tried to create. And due to your help in creating it, I have, in your honor, named it the one and only Ironic-type. ^_^ ~ The Silver Flash of Konoha (My User Page|Main Character) 04:56, July 30, 2010 (UTC) Hurrey! :D --Seireitou-shishō (瀞霊冬川平) 05:02, July 30, 2010 (UTC) Spore thingy I can tell where the inspiration for that came from. I'd hate to go up against that. --Seireitou-shishō (瀞霊冬川平) 00:01, August 2, 2010 (UTC) : Wow. I really didn't expect anyone to pick up on that, but you know me better than anyone on here Sei so I suppose I should've known you'd discover it. I've just been thinking a lot about it lately...so I added it to Raian's abilities. When I redesign Matt's page, his zanpakutō will be a Poison-type revolving around a similar effect. ~ The Silver Flash of Konoha (My User Page|Main Character) 00:08, August 2, 2010 (UTC) ::Well, it's a perfect addition to the Shikai, and makes perfect sense. I will enjoy seeing it in battle. I shall laugh in the honor of him, the same way he is laughing at death, because he shall overcome it! >:D And a bunch of other long-winded words I was planning to type up just now but got bored to do so. --Seireitou-shishō (瀞霊冬川平) 00:22, August 2, 2010 (UTC) ::: Well Sei, you did it again. You never fail to cheer me up. ^^ ~ The Silver Flash of Konoha (My User Page|Main Character) 02:34, August 2, 2010 (UTC) Review - The Evolution of Raian Continues Hey Ten, I've decided to review Raian and give you an unbiased opinion. I'll be judging on quality of content, grammar, and format. Let's begin with your Introduction Paragraph and Infobox. I see you're still using Hei for your appearance; no complaints from me. Infobox isn't missing anything so that gets the ok. Now we have the introduction paragraph: The paragraph is well written; no grammar errors. You might add some reference to his history from before Gen III, but its optional and would only boost the interest; what you have now does just fine. So we're off to a good start; Infobox is fine and the introduction is pretty interesting and well written. A little more info would simply enhance what you already have. Above-Average so far. Appearance and Personality: I see you're still using Hei as your appearance model. You say your eyes are blue but his are black... a minor error but it does mess with the quality of the article. I like how you specify all his different garbs, and add a flourish to the ones that are standard for other shinigami. Hm... Gen III sees him get Hei's trench coat; is he still wearing that for the Hell Tournament or what? Suggest you add what he looks like now that he's returned. Ok now on to personality; you're fairly descriptive about this; if you wanted to add to it you could add in a few more personality quirks (negative and positive) and maybe certain mannerisms that he uses a lot. Once he returns for the Tournament, he's a lot colder... and yet displays love for his wife; Raian seems similar to Hei in this regard (though Hei displayed brotherly love towards his sister). Not a big thing, just taking note of it. Alright so you could add a few things extra if you wanted to make the sections better, but they're pretty good as is. Still above-average; let's continue. History: You've got subsections so I'll start with Early Life. You have a small consistency error; he awakens Inyo in the first paragraph, but in the second one Kagemusha allows him to fight his inner hollow (I doubt this was intentional, but it lowers quality so I'm pointing it out). Now for some positive; Early life is interesting and how he becomes a shinigami is pretty unique. Alright, now for the Dominance section; looking through you've used Kagemusha again... even though you also used Inyo in the section. Suggest you go through this whole thing and make some changes if possible. The story is good though. Yatsumaru incident... Takeshi doesn't exist anymore unfortunately =|. The story is good but the fact that my old character is no longer existent makes it a problem. Suggest you edit him out. Seireitou and Kamui Saga suffer the same fate, but again the story is good. Now we're at Gen III... my character's non-existence is hurting your article's quality (sorry! D:). Otherwise though its the same verdict as last time. I've noticed you use Ryan throughout the history even though his name is now Raian... if you can, run it through Microsoft Word and replace all; otherwise some might find it confusing. I think I got a little lazy because it was so long... but overall the story is good but its held back by inconsistences... and the nonexistence of my character (sorry again!). So this section does more poorly than previous sections for those reason. Equipment/Abilities: I'll make the equipment review fast: Hei's weapons plus a little flavor of Bleach; not bad (might add some detail to the knife). Now we have abilities... Spiritual Powers: Immense with a flavor of Darker than Black; also an interesting twist with the emotions bit. Nice Job. Swords and Hand to Hand... basically he's in top physical condition; the Berserker bit is a nice touch though he doesn't seem to have any weaknesses in the physical combat area. The speed department doesn't help much because you don't especially specify whether his technique is better or worse than Flash Step (suggest worst for balance purposes, but that's up to you). I'm reading Endurance now and you're making him sound like a complete tank (plus speed demon). Assassination skills add to this idea because it suggests enhanced mobility. So basically he doesn't show any physical weaknesses (you don't mention Kido but whether he's good or bad at it is yet to be seen)... one or two quirks in this would be nice but you are descriptive... I'll give you an average. Zanpakuto review time... I literally have no complaints with this; really, well done. Not overpowered and quite original. And then you have the second Shikai... I see your inspiration for the spores; very touching when you get the reference. I look forward to seeing the bankai, but as it is I'm highly impressed; nice job. Hollowification: Nice way to use Hei's mask (and the pictures too); quite dynamic. Ok so overall your abilities are well described and you have a stellar Zanpakuto. You might add in a slight physical weakness to him for balancing, considering his mastery of both the sword and hand to hand, but that's up to you. Good Job. Alright so that's all I'm reviewing; let's look at Raian overall: Your Introduction was good, but could be added on to make better. Your appearance and personality like-wise. Your History section was your main weakness; inconsistencies and non-existant characters asside its quite nice though. Abilities and Equipment: You might expand on some things and maybe give a weakness, but otherwise its good and the Zanpakuto makes it awesome. Overall, your article is well made, but you need to do some proofreading and editing to make it the best it can be. Takeshi's Rating: 9/10. Superb - Just shy of Fan Fiction Nirvana; originality and new ideas are clearly seen. Nearly all people will congradulate you for such work. --Takeshi (Talk here) 02:51, July 18, 2010 (UTC) : Thanks Tak. I'm actually going over him right now, so I'll make the changes you suggested while I'm in the editing mode. Once again thank you for the honest criticism and I'll work better for a 10/10. ^^ Btw, did you see Darker than Black Gaiden 4?! Hei and Yin were epic! ~ The Silver Flash of Konoha (My User Page|Main Character) 01:20, August 4, 2010 (UTC) :No problem Ten, and no I haven't seen it, but I'll get right on it. --Takeshi (Talk here) 01:26, August 4, 2010 (UTC) :Woah, that was epic! --Takeshi (Talk here) 03:08, August 4, 2010 (UTC) :: It was indeed! I finished his Bankai. Now I'll begin on the revisions you mentioned in your review. ~ The Silver Flash of Konoha (My User Page|Main Character) 03:22, August 4, 2010 (UTC) Bankai Comment Nice Ten, I'm impressed at the epicness of the Bankai :D Oh gawd, I could imagine it now; Sei's Bankai and Raian's Bankai destroying Hell from their first clash >:D --Seireitou-shishō (瀞霊冬川平) 03:44, August 4, 2010 (UTC) : Thanks Sei, I appreciate it. I still have to add a few more moves to it (one more offensive and a few defensive) and then it'll be complete. I am very proud of it. ~ The Silver Flash of Konoha (My User Page|Main Character) 03:52, August 4, 2010 (UTC) Truth What is the Truth Raian mentions in his quote? Some new energy or something that counteracts Reason?--暗闇の門番 - "Gatekeeper of Darkness"'' (言うことを何かを得た - "You got something to say?") 23:41, August 16, 2010 (UTC)'' Irritation Would a target who feels "irritation" give Raian's Zanpakutō the same effects as if the target was feeling anger?--暗闇の門番 - "Gatekeeper of Darkness"'' (言うことを何かを得た - "You got something to say?") 11:48, August 21, 2010 (UTC)'' Truth quote Coincidence: "Herrera's aspect of death is deception." Found that quite interesting. --れび (talk to Lavi!) 13:37, August 24, 2010 (UTC) : Hahahaha That is pretty cool. They're like opposites. ~~TenTailedFox'' [[User talk:Ten Tailed Fox|<'talk'>]]'' 14:12, August 24, 2010 (UTC) ::Reading your character's abilities, I find the similarities between the two striking. Expert swordsmen, preferential use of hand-to-hand techniques, firing ceros with little charge time, stealth techniques, blazing speed (acquired through training/powering up)... Holy crap: this is absolutely crazy. They're almost a shinigami/hollow mirror image of each other. Reading into personality, they're either opposites or similar; Herrera has difficulty in companionship because he has trouble trusting others while your Raian holds them close while they both hold to a moral code. Seriously: I never read your character article until this point. Perhaps we could find some closer collaboration? This could make a good story. --れび (talk to Lavi!) 19:44, August 24, 2010 (UTC) :: I'd be up for it. It'd give me something fun to do for awhile. What do you have in mind? ~~TenTailedFox'' [[User talk:Ten Tailed Fox|<'talk'>]]'' 03:12, August 25, 2010 (UTC) :::Right now, Herrera pretty much took over Hueco Mundo and is just sitting on his army in Las Noches. He wouldn't leave unless lured out for whatever reason or he discovers some magnificent opportunity to strengthen himself or weaken his enemies (obviously Soul Society, as of now). --れび (talk to Lavi!) 14:14, August 25, 2010 (UTC) O.o Is that.....Chinese Electric Batman!? Evnyofdeath 06:25, October 18, 2010 (UTC) Listen I understand you are an admin but I do not care as of right now I am here to say that you had no right to put down my character and If u had a problem with him then tell me and help me out I mean u are an Admin, I did not like it Grizzaka 04:21, December 16, 2010 (UTC) Bankai? Oddly enough. Your Bankai is similar to my character Haruki Satonaka's zapakuto. lol And I thought we weren't allowed to edit our characters once the RP started? RazeOfLight 12:26, December 19, 2010 (UTC) :Well, the body part is similar, but it's a broad topic. Raian's involves creating bodies from those natures he possesses, so it's different. Anyways, about that, Lone wanted to add something she had already written but never added, and so did Ten. So, I figured to just let them by with it since the fighting aspect of our RP hadn't started yet. Do you have any issues with it? --Seireitou-shishō (My True Identity | Talk to Me :3) 19:33, December 19, 2010 (UTC) :Even if I did would it really make a difference? =) Its all fine in my book just trying to abide by the guidelines of the match-up. I sort of figured that to be the case when I stopped and thought about it. If the fighting hasn't started then its not as if we are editing to counter something on another's page. It would me more of adding the 'final' touches correct? RazeOfLight 20:22, December 19, 2010 (UTC) ::You're welcome to add stuff yourself to our characters, but once action begins, everybody is expected to be moral about it, and not add any new stuff. --Seireitou-shishō (My True Identity | Talk to Me :3) 20:25, December 19, 2010 (UTC) :: Goddy I really think that this is a godmod zanpakuto with all its abilitys and such... If I am wrong tell me how Kentaro Kenpachi Kurosaki 20:32, March 6, 2011 (UTC) :Did you fail to notice that it was under the section "Former Powers & Abilities"? Kai - Talk 21:22, March 6, 2011 (UTC) Question I've been meaning to ask you this since you uploaded it but I haven't seen you on the chat. Did you draw the latest Raian pic Ten, out of curiosity that is.--Hohenheim ☯ Talk ☯ 15:03, August 10, 2011 (UTC) : If you're talking about the profile pic, than no, that would be Cayo. I was going to draw the pic myself and then the program I used to make it stopped working, so I lost it >_< Cayo offered to finish it for me. If you are referring to the Bankai...I wish. Its from Nurarihyon no Mago. Ten Tailed Fox (Talk with me) 15:32, August 10, 2011 (UTC) :: For a second I thought you had somehow gained drawing abilities within a week ~_~ lol. On a separate note I'm liking his new Zanpakutō a lot. It's a good twist and fits Raian well.--Hohenheim ☯ Talk ☯ 15:45, August 10, 2011 (UTC) Quote "'Saigo no Reisaishu'... Using this technique, I will end your life, in every way possible. There can be no revival. There can be no reincarnation. It is the final step for your existance... that's why it's called 'final'." 0w0 That's a cool quote you made Ten--シルバー人柱力 - The Silver Jinchūriki. ("Talk to me.") 07:22, August 17, 2011 (UTC) New Pics You got some awesome pics for Raian's new Shikai and Bankai appearances :) The Omniscent Shadow of the Moon 15:11, February 15, 2012 (UTC) Small error I noticed in his Bankai section, you still have '''Zaiten Shukketsu '''listed as one of his abilities. It's in the Cero section in case you want to replace it with Getsuga Tensho. Blankslate 22:41, April 13, 2012 (UTC) ........ Dude...This Character is EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....These are dots of epicness. Kudos to you man. But I have one problem with him and it's slight. Change his Vast Spiritual Power to Immense because when I read him and his bio, he looks like a person who's spiritual power is cntrolled and not wild. Vast Spiritual Power means that it's uncontrolled and wild and can do unpredictable things. Immense means that it's controlled and refined. By reading Shundan and the ninteen month timeskip, the new skills shouls explain and reflect this fact. So that's just a tidbit for you. Otherwise everything about this character blows my mind.....LITERALLY. :D Shiro of the Outer Path 16:12, May 13, 2012 (UTC) :l MAKE UP YOUR MIND ON THIS GUY! JEZUS! No, i'm kidding for real. I have to say that his new appearance and powers are pretty cool and inventive. Cayo insists that he thought of the Zanpakuto concept first and you stole it from his train of thought, lol. Thief! But for real, I find him to be very interesting, more so than I used to. And while I still find Raian's post Fullbring Zanpakuto (the one before he fused with Yama-ji) to be my favorite one that he's had, I'm sure that his new powers will give way to a more diverse and awesome character in the future :3 -Blankslate : Yeah I know. I change him around too often xD Trying to put an end to that with this. Zanpakutō are hard to come up with or be satisfied with for a main character, but I think this retcon will finish everything up. I'm cleaning him up like Sei did with Seirietou, and expanding his basic abilities massively as per Njalm's suggestions. So hopefully (don't quote me =w=) this will be the last time any major changes are made. Captain-CommanderTalk 05:31, November 23, 2012 (UTC) O.O Ooooohhh... This guy be epic. 8DBraveHeart70 (talk) 03:07, November 25, 2012 (UTC)